Personal Accomplishment

This morning, when my alarm went off and I dragged mysef from bed, a thought crossed my mind:

Never be satisfied.

As I went about my morning routine, I allowed those words to sit in my subconscious until I found myself bored in front of a computer in a classroom. Before I really realised what I was doing, I was typing 'alternative math learning and basic concepts' into my google searchbar. Fervently my eyes scanned links, seeking keywords to help me find what I was looking for: a math curriculum that focuses on building many levels of mathematical understanding at once. Ideally I was looking for high-school curricula similar to Miquon Math (an alternative
curricula for grades 1-3).

I have a mild form of Dyscalculia (math dyslexia). It is something that really started showing itself in the second grade, resulting in my overall grades sliding and dropping me off the honor roll. As time went by, I continued to have problems with recalling, comprehending, and applying basic formulae within mathematics; my grades in math plummeted and I fell to nearly below the state's required levels of math knowledge for my grade level.

Every year I struggled with math and fought to learn, not understanding why learning had become so difficult for me. I blamed myself for my failings, and berated myself into beliving that if I was 'really willing' to learn this I would..that my own feelings and dislike of math were holding me back.

I spent two years trying to learn multiplication and five after that, division. I was so worked up about my poor performance (and my parents' anger/dissapointment in me) that I often cried after my math bookwork. This level of distress led me to learn only the minimum to pass standardized tests in math.

As it stands today, I have a spotty understanding of basic maths, yet I have a solid understanding of geometry and trigonometry; this is a common trait found in people with Dyscalculia.

Today's point is that:

I will not be satisfied!

I am not going to allow anxieties or difficulties to keep me from my full potential in -anything- let alone something as vital to a healthy, learning mind as math.

I understand that I have a problem.
Having the problem is in -no way- my fault.
I must rise to my challenges and meet them fearlessly.
Not doing so would be to allow my problem to own me, instead of the
healthy, happy, and much preferable opposite.

~Alexandra